Sally The Snob
I used to be on the newspaper staff at my high school. We always had a section about cars in parking lots, where we would highlight one old beater car and one really nice one and then interview both owners. The beaters’ owners were super excited and always had great stories.
We pick Snobette Snootyson, because she has a brand-new Range Rover. After I am the last person to say “not it”, I have to interview her. I asked her which feature she liked best about the car. I asked her what was her favorite feature of the car. Or my G-Eazy bumper sticker.”
She exclaimed, “Yeah!” I then asked her if she had any funny stories to tell about her car. When my parents bought it for me, I made faces at a friend and then turned left to total it when there wasn’t a “green arrow”. They got me the exact same car again! I was able to sneak it into the article, “Snootyson managed to keep her vehicle undamaged since November.” It was in January.
