She’s Coming, Ready or Not
I am a retired paramedic. There have been many messed-up situations, but one was the worst. A newborn was delivered and I was told to place it back into its mother. She gave birth in an ambulance on her way to Weill Cornell Medical Center. She was distraught when she realized that her baby hadn’t been born in hospital, and even worse, in a good.
The mother told me, “Hold the baby with your freaking hands!” I explained this would not work and we were going to have this child on 3rd Avenue. She flipped out, and began yelling like a lunatic at me. We agreed that until we reached the hospital’s driveway, I would tell her that the baby was inside of her.
This satisfied her desire that her child be born in a hospital rather than next to a 3rd Avenue dry cleaner. As far as the child knows, her birth took place in the Weill Cornell Emergency Room Ambulance Bay. She’ll never know how much chaos surrounded her delivery and how unreasonable the request was.
